Devon and Ursula have been at each others throats so much lately! I'm not sure what to do about it but it needs to stop. I'm compelled to write about it at this very moment because I've just witnessed something sad.
I'm sitting up in my bed laptopping happily while Devon is asleep here in the bed beside me. (Yep, Adam's out of town so undoubtedly one of the kids had to find their way in here.) Well, a couple of moments ago Devon, apparantly dreaming that he's fighting with Ursula, spoke her name out loud in a very angry voice. These two can't even get along in their dreams!!! What am I to do?!
I tell you, there's something wrong and it's on a heart level. I can adjust their behavior but how can I reach their hearts? Why are they always at each other's throats lately? It hurts me to witness because I love them both. I feel like I'm constantly trying to explain to them how their attitude or harsh words have been received by the other one and have come across as hurtful. Nobody cares. Just me. They just want to grab big sticks and go beat each other out in the front yard.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
Twilight
I was a HUGE Twilight fan. I've read all four books as well as Midnight Sun, the first book from Edward's point of view, on the author's website. I was so caught up in the passion of the love story I couldn't think straight. The fact that the vampire-centricness of the series might not please God- well, I didn't want to think about that. I justified it by saying that vampires are not real so you cannot view it as you would a real evil in the world. I mean, if they were real then they would have been allowed/created by God and therefore wouldn't be evil right? Just like with Star Trek. The Bible doesn't say there is life on other planets but I don't mind the science fiction. I know that if it were true it would all be because God made it that way.
Yet I'd always feel a degree of conviction.
Yesterday in church Pastor preached on leaning on the Holy Spirit to live a holy life because our flesh will still want to sin even though we're born again. Last night as I lay in bed I couldn't sleep. I was thinking more on Pastor's message. We are free to resist temptation. We don't have to sin. But if we lean on our mind and our own will for the strength we'll likely fail. We need to ask for Holy Spirit power. I decided to be brave and ask the Lord to go ahead and tell me what He thought about Twilight. The question I'd not wanted to ask for so long because I feared I wouldn't like the answer. I asked Him to show it to me through His eyes.
Laying there in bed, I suddenly became very sick to my stomach. No joke! Extreme nausea welled up in my stomach. It was so bad and so sudden. I got up and went into the bathroom. I made myself throw up over and over to try to stop the misery but it wouldn't let up. I am not exaggerating. This is the truth. After that I lay in a hot bath thinking the matter through some more. I began to see the concept of vampires differently than I ever had.
They are supposed to be beings that have exchanged their souls for immortality here on earth. I'm not certain what's supposed to happen to them at the end of the world, whether hell or they simply cease to exist. Since they don't exist in real life it doesn't really matter. Anyone is free to take creative license here I figure. That's why I never had a problem with them. I took creative license to decide that God would, of course, allow any sentient being he created to call on His name no matter what their circumstance. If one of His humans were to fall under such a curse by no choice of his own, the God of the Bible I've been reading would surely redeem him if he were to cry out to Him. I mean, duh! So no problem, right?
But here's my new thing. Shouldn't the idea of a soulless being, someone who was condemned to spend eternity apart from God, be making me sick with grief at the very thought? Most people wouldn't bother to philosophize about it to the degree I had, making it acceptable. They'd just take it at face value. Soulless. The idea should make me sick with grief but since someone had romanticized it with a love story I was seeing it as beautiful. Unacceptable! Everytime I think of Twilight it should only renew my desire to seek and save the lost not leave me feeling complaisant to the terrible matter while swept up in the fascade of something beautiful.
I began to repent for opening a window for sin to enter my life. I rebuked the devil, bound and cast out any and all evil that had gotten in and invited the Spirit to come and fill in the space that had taken. I kid you not - immediately, the sickness left me.
I got out of the bath, cleaned my mouth from being sick and got back into my pajamas. Without hesitating I gathered up all of the Twilight items in the house and pitched them in the trash. I went online and deleted links to websites, YouTube videos, favorite quotes, saved pictures, song files from the soundtrack, everything. I felt sad, yet peaceful. I cried while doing all this because I love Twilight. It's going to kill me not to watch the New Moon movie when it comes out. But I'm not going to dwell on it. My greatest desire is to obey the Lord and bring Him happiness. I spent time praying and reading the Bible this morning to give me power for today. I plan to do that everyday and not worry about tomorrow. Please pray for me also.
Yet I'd always feel a degree of conviction.
Yesterday in church Pastor preached on leaning on the Holy Spirit to live a holy life because our flesh will still want to sin even though we're born again. Last night as I lay in bed I couldn't sleep. I was thinking more on Pastor's message. We are free to resist temptation. We don't have to sin. But if we lean on our mind and our own will for the strength we'll likely fail. We need to ask for Holy Spirit power. I decided to be brave and ask the Lord to go ahead and tell me what He thought about Twilight. The question I'd not wanted to ask for so long because I feared I wouldn't like the answer. I asked Him to show it to me through His eyes.
Laying there in bed, I suddenly became very sick to my stomach. No joke! Extreme nausea welled up in my stomach. It was so bad and so sudden. I got up and went into the bathroom. I made myself throw up over and over to try to stop the misery but it wouldn't let up. I am not exaggerating. This is the truth. After that I lay in a hot bath thinking the matter through some more. I began to see the concept of vampires differently than I ever had.
They are supposed to be beings that have exchanged their souls for immortality here on earth. I'm not certain what's supposed to happen to them at the end of the world, whether hell or they simply cease to exist. Since they don't exist in real life it doesn't really matter. Anyone is free to take creative license here I figure. That's why I never had a problem with them. I took creative license to decide that God would, of course, allow any sentient being he created to call on His name no matter what their circumstance. If one of His humans were to fall under such a curse by no choice of his own, the God of the Bible I've been reading would surely redeem him if he were to cry out to Him. I mean, duh! So no problem, right?
But here's my new thing. Shouldn't the idea of a soulless being, someone who was condemned to spend eternity apart from God, be making me sick with grief at the very thought? Most people wouldn't bother to philosophize about it to the degree I had, making it acceptable. They'd just take it at face value. Soulless. The idea should make me sick with grief but since someone had romanticized it with a love story I was seeing it as beautiful. Unacceptable! Everytime I think of Twilight it should only renew my desire to seek and save the lost not leave me feeling complaisant to the terrible matter while swept up in the fascade of something beautiful.
I began to repent for opening a window for sin to enter my life. I rebuked the devil, bound and cast out any and all evil that had gotten in and invited the Spirit to come and fill in the space that had taken. I kid you not - immediately, the sickness left me.
I got out of the bath, cleaned my mouth from being sick and got back into my pajamas. Without hesitating I gathered up all of the Twilight items in the house and pitched them in the trash. I went online and deleted links to websites, YouTube videos, favorite quotes, saved pictures, song files from the soundtrack, everything. I felt sad, yet peaceful. I cried while doing all this because I love Twilight. It's going to kill me not to watch the New Moon movie when it comes out. But I'm not going to dwell on it. My greatest desire is to obey the Lord and bring Him happiness. I spent time praying and reading the Bible this morning to give me power for today. I plan to do that everyday and not worry about tomorrow. Please pray for me also.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Week in dresses
I'm participating in Candy's and LAF's Week in Feminine Dress event. Today is Sunday so it was easy. Even the girls are in dresses. The top doesn't appear as modest as it did in the mirror this morning. Oh dear!
Saturday, July 19, 2008
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